Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize