She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
