I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
