he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Can I color on your dick again?
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
