also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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