Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
