the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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