saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
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