last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
