Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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