BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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