meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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