WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
