after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
