Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
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