i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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