I just made out with a guy for $7.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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