You smell like a Billy Joel song
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
