And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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