There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
