She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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