...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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