Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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