I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
