I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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