No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
