also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
the liver wants what the liver wants
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Randomize
