There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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