....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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