does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
