Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Randomize
