I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Randomize
