so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
