Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
