I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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