none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
