: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Randomize