theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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