My hand turned me down
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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