How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
