Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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