im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
