Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Randomize
