U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
