Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
