We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
