thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
