sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
