recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Randomize
