What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
