so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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